Scold the mulberry tree while pointing at the locust tree.
📜 Origin
《红楼梦》
💡 Detailed Explanation
"Pointing at the mulberry and cursing the locust" literally means pointing at the mulberry tree while scolding the locust tree. It is a metaphor for ostensibly scolding one person while actually scolding another. It is an indirect and veiled way of scolding someone, usually used on occasions when it is inconvenient to accuse the other person directly or when surface harmony needs to be maintained. This idiom comes from A Dream of Red Mansions and, in traditional culture, embodies tact and ingenuity in interpersonal communication. It is mostly used in family conflicts, workplace frictions, or social occasions. When one party is dissatisfied with another but is unwilling or unable to confront them directly, they seize on something else as a pretext and insinuate the real target by criticizing something else. In emotional coloring, it is derogatory, suggesting that the speaker is not candid enough and likes to beat around the bush, and sometimes it also reveals helplessness and wisdom. Its deeper meaning lies in revealing the complex psychology and power games in interpersonal relationships, reminding people to pay attention to implied meanings, while also criticizing the behavior of not communicating directly and preferring innuendo.
📝 Example
1. On the surface, she was criticizing the child for not putting away the toys, but in reality, she was pointing at the mulberry tree while cursing the locust tree—using the child as a pretext to complain about her husband always leaving things around. (Pointing at the mulberry tree while cursing the locust tree: using criticism of the child to blame the husband.)
2. At the meeting, the manager kept emphasizing the importance of teamwork, but everyone could tell he was pointing at the mulberry tree while cursing the locust tree—directing his remarks at Xiao Wang, who had recently been acting arbitrarily. (Pointing at the mulberry tree while cursing the locust tree: using a discussion of teamwork to indirectly criticize Xiao Wang.)