"Jǔ àn qí méi" (raising the tray to eyebrow level) comes from the "Biography of Liang Hong" in the Book of the Later Han, and tells the story of the Eastern Han hermit Liang Hong and his wife Meng Guang. Whenever Meng Guang brought food to Liang Hong, she would raise the tray level with her eyebrows to show respect for her husband. Liang Hong also treated her with courtesy, and the couple respected each other as if they were guests. This idiom originates from this story and describes spouses who respect each other, treat each other as equals, and share a deep affection expressed through courteous behavior. What it emphasizes is not one-sided deference, but mutual respect and consideration, embodying the model of an ideal marriage in traditional Chinese culture. It is mostly used to praise marital harmony and mutual respect, and carries a commendatory and warm emotional tone. In modern times, it is often used to describe a loving couple who respect each other and make decisions through equal consultation in family life, neither becoming rude because of intimacy nor treating each other lightly because of familiarity. It should be noted that this idiom focuses on spiritual respect rather than rigid formal etiquette, and is therefore mostly used in positive descriptions of harmonious marriages.
📝 Example
1. They have been married for thirty years, always treating each other with the utmost respect, and have never had a quarrel. They are a famous model couple in the neighborhood. (Describing a couple who respect each other and live in harmony.)
2. True mutual respect in marriage is not about being distant and formal; it is about still respecting each other's feelings and choices in the trivial matters of daily life. (Referring to equality and mutual respect between husband and wife.)