己所不欲

Do not do unto others what you would not have done unto you.

《论语》

"Shu" (Reciprocity) comes from The Analects, Yan Yuan, where the original text reads, "Do not impose on others what you yourself do not desire." This is one of Confucius's core teachings on "ren" (benevolence). Its literal meaning is: do not force upon others what you yourself are unwilling to endure. Its deeper meaning lies in emphasizing empathy and perspective-taking—putting oneself in another's shoes—and it embodies the Confucian way of "shu" (forgiveness/reciprocity). It is used in a wide range of scenarios: it can serve as advice in everyday interpersonal interactions, such as urging people to reflect on themselves before making demands of others; it can also be used in moral and ethical discussions to criticize double standards or selfish behavior. In terms of cultural background, it is regarded as a fundamental principle for handling interpersonal relationships. It stands in contrast to "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you," but places greater emphasis on respecting the wishes of others. In emotional tone, this idiom carries a serious, admonitory quality and is often used in reasoning or educational contexts, reflecting a moral self-awareness of self-restraint and altruism.

1. If you dislike others making loud noises in public, you should practice "do not impose on others what you do not desire for yourself" and refrain from doing so yourself. (In this sentence, it means not imposing on others what you yourself would not want to endure.) 2. As a leader, he often reminds himself with "do not impose on others what you do not desire for yourself," and never forces embarrassing tasks onto his subordinates. (In this sentence, it means using empathy to restrain one's own behavior and not shifting what one dislikes onto others.)